It Goes On

I sit here at my personal computer desk gazing out the lofty windows at the setting sun nestled between two highway overpasses and the six story high cement and wood half-finished future apartment building that has now replaced my view of a gravel parking lot and before that a tent city. I sit here and think about the past several days, past several weeks and months. I think to myself, am I doing things right? Should I be more patient? Am I starting to lag behind other peers of mine who have already bought homes, married spouses, and are having kids? Should I care?

I made my first ever offer on a wonderful townhouse earlier this week. That offer did not get accepted, and now its back to the search, back to weighing my options, back to competing with many other families and foreigners in the Charleston real estate market. Its exhausting. The clicking into every email update I get from my realtor, every email I get from Zillow just to make sure there are no new options within my price range that I can jump on before anyone else with more disposable income can. Enduring the emotions that I experience when touring a new home or condo and imagining spending years of life there. Then finally getting excited, inquiring, touring, offering, and getting ultimately denied. Its exhausting.

And then just to rub in the embarrassment and frustration, the day after my offer to purchase the townhouse was rejected, my property manager at my current apartment complex let me know that they’ll need me to temporarily move out of my current apartment so that they can replace my two lofty windows. The same windows I’m watching the setting sun through right now. This will require moving everything in my living room and home office away from the windows to give construction workers room to be construction workers. The large wooden desk I’m sitting at typing these words now will need to be cleared away. My 55 inch television, my couch, and everything else in my living room all will need to be moved out. I will be displaced, staying in a nearby hotel, for anywhere from one to four weeks, depending on how many unexpected issues arise. Just to rub it in. Just to remind me that I could have been moving out forever, just to remind me to offer even more over list price next time.

I’ve already gone through layers of catharsis with friends and family members. The frustration hasn’t really passed as much as just become a regularity that can be expected and planned for. I’ve calmed and now had some time to regain perspective. I’m sure there will be another evening when I sit at this same desk either in my current apartment or another lodging space near or far and read back through this post, remembering this evening and understanding even more truly Robert Frost’s sentiment. “In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.”

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